Ow! D:

Never get a sunburn on your knees...you will regret it.

Musings of an Indecisive Bride

To elope or not to elope, that is the question.
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of discontent family
or to take arms against Wedding Industries
and by opposing end them.

The most I’ve spent on anything at one time (outside of rent and utilities, which my parents cover anyway since I’m still in school, so this doesn’t really count) is a plane ticket. Said plane ticket was $440 and hurt me a little in my special place I like to call Jo-Jo. Jo Jo is my money monkey. Jo Jo doesn’t like spending money. Jo Jo likes saving it in nice little savings accounts or investing it in safe things like IRAs. My fiancé is similarly minded. However, his monkey’s name is Mojo Jo Jo, much like the Power Puff Girls’ rival, though his is much cuter and wears a white lab coat.

That being said, I’m in an awkward situation. At this point I am resigned to having a wedding, albeit budget and very DIY. My problem comes from the fact that I’ve no idea of a venue to fit in said budget that has nearby caterers and a pleasant atmosphere. With a guest list looking like 30-50 people (50 being max, 30 being much more likely), it’s hard to find an appropriate venue. Most intimate settings like a bed and breakfast are much too small to house that many people, while larger places seem to be fit more for at least twice as many people and have an accompanying larger cost. And as I’m looking in Iowa for venues, even if I do find an appropriate venue, there are few restaurants or caterers nearby (food is important to my fiancé and we’re both basically vegetarian).

Now, my parents are paying for the wedding. That being said, I still really dislike spending money on things I see as frivolous, such as weddings. And the expectations! Oh the expectations! “Say Yes to the Dress” telling me $1500 is a tight budget for a wedding dress, over a hundred dollars for a bouquet (a single bouquet!), the necessity of flowers, the necessity of expensive bridesmaid dresses, tux rentals, ordering custom invitations, how to walk down the freaking aisle, etc. It’s downright ridiculous and not what I want. Figuring out what I do want in Iowa, however, is difficult. I pray Brandon the wedding planner can help with getting all the logistics figured out and make it easy for me to have a wedding I’ll be happy with.

A wedding planner?! Yes, a wedding planner. I didn’t think I’d go there, but as I’ll be in a different state beginning 9 months before the wedding, it’s necessary for keeping my mother sane, I fear.

grawr

I have become convinced that the universe hates me. Either that or that great game master in the sky just likes to mess with me. Hello. I am a nerd that plays D&D. And a girl. Most people usually don't put those two together much. Though I am admittedly trying to focus more on school right now, I do enjoy the weekly session with my group when I can make it. This, however, has nothing to do with the universe's burning desire to torture me. I thought that was just an interesting side fact.

See, I'm a geek, true, but I am a nerd at heart. See, the difference is that a nerd is someone who strives for academic achievement while a geek is almost a specialized nerd. A computer geek knows everything there is to know about computers, a Star Trek geek knows every episode by heart, etc. And a dork, for anyone who is interested, is just socially incompetent. The kind of incompetent that just doesn't realize when to stop quoting Dr. Who in mixed company. I am a nerd because I thought of these definitions. I am a geek because I play D&D. I am a dork because I am discussing these definitions to the uninterested masses of cyberspace.

Enough about me, back to the universe.

Oh sod it. I've got homework to do.

So, I guess I shouldn't be completely surprised that I got "C" on journals so far for my basic acting class...I didn't really try, that's for sure. But...what is a journal supposed to be? My TA said it needed to "mean more to me." How can I make something have meaning for me? It's like saying you need to believe in God. O.o You can't make people find meaning in something they don't want to!

I am definitely not the type of person that likes to catalog anything. It used to really take a lot from me to produce cohesive lab reports, and my programming etiquette could still use some work. It makes sense for those, though. It is for the purpose of the reader - for someone else. A journal is for yourself. It makes no sense to keep a journal for the benefit of another - even less sense to keep a journal and be graded on it.

What if I have nothing more to say than “I hate journals” in a variety of ways? I'm sure I could think of plenty of ways - some in various languages. I don’t think I have grown a lot, honestly. That's of course what the journals are supposed to be for - to see how much we've grown....give me a break. By no means do I want to sound arrogant (I know I can’t brag and that there are tons of people much more talented than I am that have to go through the same thing and genuinely feel like they learn something), but I had two drama classes in high school, and I made it to all-state in both individual and ensemble acting. I feel that a lot of what we have learned was already stated in my previous classes. It’s a little irritating, to be honest, to have to write about “what I learned” for a day. I can’t really have a lesson of a day - it’s all a culmination of experiences coming together. Besides, I'm only taking this course because I have to if I want to take an actual acting class.

It's all so arbitrary - two pages handwritten...If we leave out a paragraph every week, do we get a B? It just doesn’t make sense to me. I guess I will just talk about what happens every day and live with it. I just want to voice my discontent over the whole ordeal.