Friday, April 17, 2009

So, I guess I shouldn't be completely surprised that I got "C" on journals so far for my basic acting class...I didn't really try, that's for sure. But...what is a journal supposed to be? My TA said it needed to "mean more to me." How can I make something have meaning for me? It's like saying you need to believe in God. O.o You can't make people find meaning in something they don't want to!

I am definitely not the type of person that likes to catalog anything. It used to really take a lot from me to produce cohesive lab reports, and my programming etiquette could still use some work. It makes sense for those, though. It is for the purpose of the reader - for someone else. A journal is for yourself. It makes no sense to keep a journal for the benefit of another - even less sense to keep a journal and be graded on it.

What if I have nothing more to say than “I hate journals” in a variety of ways? I'm sure I could think of plenty of ways - some in various languages. I don’t think I have grown a lot, honestly. That's of course what the journals are supposed to be for - to see how much we've grown....give me a break. By no means do I want to sound arrogant (I know I can’t brag and that there are tons of people much more talented than I am that have to go through the same thing and genuinely feel like they learn something), but I had two drama classes in high school, and I made it to all-state in both individual and ensemble acting. I feel that a lot of what we have learned was already stated in my previous classes. It’s a little irritating, to be honest, to have to write about “what I learned” for a day. I can’t really have a lesson of a day - it’s all a culmination of experiences coming together. Besides, I'm only taking this course because I have to if I want to take an actual acting class.

It's all so arbitrary - two pages handwritten...If we leave out a paragraph every week, do we get a B? It just doesn’t make sense to me. I guess I will just talk about what happens every day and live with it. I just want to voice my discontent over the whole ordeal.